Regularly updated snippets.
15/DEC/25: Maybe it's because I'm listening to Radiohead's Bodysnatchers but this whole connecting with people on the internet is super weird, like we're talking,, but I have no idea who you are and.. you have no idea WHO I AM.... crazy stuff. Anyway. I need to stop reading fanfiction. Up and at the library this morning! Working on my 2025 Media in Review as well as my Dissertation.
11/DEC/25: UGH yk when you do a thing cause someone suggests it and then they're doing the thing and you feel like an idiot cause it's clear you're only doing it because they said it but defo not!! I MADE THAT DECISION ON MY OWN!!! AAAAA... I should be ashamed, thanks Geese lead singer. I love my friends but they sit in me like a symbiote I'm too attached to to get rid of. I hate having feelings.
08/DEC/25: Oh my gosh spending time in unfamiliar spaces with new people really is exhausting. Trying to work on my Diss despite wanting to curl up and play Stardew. I cannot wait to feel like I'm allowed to relax :/ Then I'll be able to make my 2025 media in review page!
02/DEC/25: This darkness is killing me, I am so tired. Rewatching Critical Role: Calamity and excited to watch Downfall again! I love these miniseries more than any other D&D show.
28/NOV/25: The howling wind through the library with the thrashing rain and the autumn leaves being swept through the air is very atmospheric. It reminds me of the beginning of a film I watched as a child...
26/NOV/25: I'm actually gonna finish my first playthrough of Undertale since I watched Dan and Phil play it in 2016 and I bought and first played in 2020... The Steam Deck is really helping my play time and gaming skills.
19/NOV/25: my phone isn't the problem, my screen time is so low (depsite the amount of fanfics I read on it), this laptop is the thing I need the bricks and screen time and website blockers for. Where's the quick fix?!
10/NOV/25: So many feelings are floating around in my body! And I wonder if some of the aren't feelings but just physical sensations... I love having alexithymia. It's like "ok... I'm feeling... something(s). And I think it's bad!?"
03/NOV/25: Loving feeling tired at 7pm. There's a post that says "my day doesn't end at 7pm" just because it's getting dark, but I'm glad that it can.
06/OCT/25: love when my orders are not shipped and customer service won't respond to me... too focused on my dissertation work to care.
04/SEP/25: It's raining again today. We had a thunderstorm yesterday. I'm hoping these are signs that summer is leaving, with it being cold enough that standing out in a hoddie doesn't feel warm. I have enjoyed the heat this year more so than previous, but it's time to get cosy.
01/SEP/25: not feeling like myself, not looking like myself, not acting like myself. Overall feeling disconnected and a little broken :(
03/AUG/25: It's Autumn to me. My lockscreen is spooky scary skeletons and I've been listening to songs like this.
04/JUL/25: Started working. It's chaos. Mostly out of our control and our manager is taking the brunt of it and we're all exhausted. Although now have some down time. It seems either we're all go and it's all going wrong / a million miles an hour OR there is nothing to do. Need to make the most of the nothing!
28/JUN/25: I'm so ill it's not even funny!!!!! And have had no time for the site. Maybe when I'll be stuck in hell (working in London away from all of my friends) I'll have some time for the site. Gotta make some changes around here!
08/MAY/25: I forget how much external things affect me, like the autism really kicks in and makes me physically ill when my bed time is getting fucked and I'm not getting any alone time. My body is fighting back. Also maybe the emotional stress?? Therapy is great but realising how my parents messed my up is hard to deal with. So sorry that I haven't updated the blog yet. I'll be making a Scotland post next week! It's so beautiful here I honestly love the mountains so much.
27/APR/25: Aesthetic yoyoingI keep going back and forth on how simple I want the site to be. I want it to be a representation of me but I also want it easy on the eye but not boring and I just don't know where to land. I think maybe thinking about the function of the site more will help me land on a form? But for now, I apologise that the background keeps changing (tbh I'm more sorry for me and all the time I put in to crediting the last background lol). Maybe I should make an "archive" for the site where I could keep previously used assets? Then I'll always be able to see the background.
10/APR/25: I wish I had a sibling, I wish I had a best friend, I wish I wasn't so lonely. No. I wish I could call my friends, I wish I had the gaul to call my friends. I want to know them again. I fear the distance that distance has caused will be irreversable. Only we can make that distance stop.
14/MAR/25: I wanna watch MLP, I wanna read Homestuck, I want to make fanart, I want to be cringe, I want to let go.
20/JAN/25: I had the best nap of my life. It revived me. I normally hate naps, I always feel worse physically and disorientated after one (I do love nap reviewz though!) so only take them when my body forces me to. This day I was emotionally exhausted. As well as completing an essay I was struggling with my interpersonal relationships and this nap,, It gave me so much clarity. And I got a text that I was grateful for. And to arrise in the sunshine with such calm was wonderful.